This week I got to experience something new – I was a host for my first guest author – Kay, and now I am a guest author myself! It is exciting, huge learning process of what other people find as a source of their motivation and how do they put words together creating amazing stories. This essay, published on Kay’s blog “Suddenly they all died” is about troubles and motivation, two main barriers that stand in front of every writer. Enjoy and let me know what you think!
I am a very bad writer. An honest confession, and I know that. The moment I sit down and pick up the pen (yes, most of my writing I put down in ink on paper) nothing seems right enough to create stories worth reading. Benjamin Franklin once said: “If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write something worth reading or do things worth writing”. That’s what I believe moves most of us: endless memory, historical footprints, eternity pressed into the hardcover book. Partly, it is my motive as well, of course, we are social beings and we do things in order to receive feedback and society’s approval. But, that is far from being the main trigger, at least for me.
Imperfection moves me. Understanding that there is always some room for development, realizing that you can always strive for better, creative, smoother writing. But it is also utterly agonizing: no one becomes a great writer in one day, it is a long way filled with troubles and missteps. I have my own writing troubles, three of them:
- I have always adored fiction writers! They describe things in such vivid ways and colors, things that they have never seen, things that are foreign to my world of imagination. Now, I can’t do that. My writing is based on a straight forward principle – I write what I see, I write about life. Whatever hurts me or makes me happy – I will put it in writing, but nothing more then that. When I do arts: I pull out my canvas, I set up my easel, I prepare my paints and magically enough I never had a problem with painting mystical creatures or something purely living in my imagination. Writing is different and I still can’t figure out why?
- Language – our primary way of communication. That’s how centuries ago myths lived on from generation to generation, one of the most powerful tools in the world. Just by simply having a conversation you can show and resolve so many things, yet this is another writing trouble for me. I can’t stand writing dialogues, so most of my short stories end up in a from of essays. Somewhere deep inside my head I know why – I find dialogues to be incredibly boring… I know, something must be wrong with me.
- They say repetition makes better results, repetition for me is a curse. I love to use endless synonyms, different words of the same meaning trying to carry to the reader the feeling I felt. It might have something to do with my past: when I was younger, in high school, I competed in oratorical speeches. The sound effect of your speech is almost as effective as the actual content. Since then, when describing rain or storm I love to use words with repetitive “tr” , “rk” or “dr” sounds, like: “At first it was drizzling and raining, then danging, and drum rolling, rumbling and sparkling; seemed like someone decided to empty all the reservoirs of natures water on a poor London. Nothing new, it was raining, in fact, it is always raining down there.”
I was raised with the belief that you can do anything you like as long as it won’t harm anyone. So I carry on, no matter how good or bad my writing is. I carry on because that’s what makes me happy, and I will carry on as long as it takes, but will I survive in the hardship of a writer’s world?